I believe it was Governor Adlai Stevenson who remarked, "It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them." He was, of course, correct, as I have learned tonight from my interpersonal experiences. A principle I believe in is friendship. However, tonight, I have failed to live up to that principle, even after promising a friend that I would be there for them, whenever they needed me- yet I was not. This contradiction... this hypocrisy, saddens me, and I'm regretful. Though my words conveyed genuine concern, my contradictory actions only sent the message to my friends that they are second to my priorities. Second to my wishes... and this, causes me great cognitive dissonance, as I do believe that friendship should have come first... yet I failed to act. Words only go so far... the rest of the message has to be carried by the actions that accompany them. Tonight, I gave only words of assurance, but no action to manifest them. I'm sorry.
I believe it was Saint Paul who said, "Faith without works is dead." How true does words seem now. Not only in my interpersonal relationships, but in my role in the community, which, though it does have action, is lacking enough action... it needs more. Even in my interpersonal relationships... more action, to live up those principles that I claim to hold in a personal ethos. Tonight, I've only proven myself a hypocrite. In the Gospels, Jesus condemned the Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Am I to be like they?
I'm sorry for my lack of action... my hypocrisy that ran deeper than my words. I feel that I have cheated not only my friends, but myself... I have betrayed the principle of friendship... a principle set in my own ethos. Thus, I have betrayed my friends and myself.
Perhaps if I begin to consider the context of the day, I can begin to understand how this came about. Recently, especially in the last few days, I have become so super-focused on my work... that, now that I think about it, I have placed my friendships second... which I shouldn't have. Work comes and goes, remember... but friends... they're people, with real emotional needs. I say this now, but I wonder if I will live up to those words.
I felt the need to blog this; to reflect on my hypocrisy and ponder what to do about it tomorrow. Perhaps I need to find a way to make it up. To reverse the message of "You're second to my interests" and make it, "I do care about you- I'm here for you." I can say it in words... but the challenge is devoting the energy to make those words, and their meaning, manifest.
To whoever reads this, value your friendships and remember that "Faith without works is dead," so make manifest your ethos in your actions. As Ghandi would say, "Be the change you wish to see in the world" - do more than speak your vision... live it!