Monsters in the closet

There's a monster in my head and his name is Rex. In German meaning 'right', in Latin meaning 'king', yet he is neither. I don't know now where he ends and where I begin, because he's in my head. He talks like me and makes me think like him. He plays tricks and then laughs at me. He makes me think what he thinks. And because of him, my loved ones' are affected by me, by what I think and how I act- and because of that, I'm pushing them further and further away, to a threshold of breaking point. To defeat him, I need to change. To break him I need to reverse old habits and to start thinking differently... the opposite of pedantically. To do that, I must believe that I am capable of change - independent change; for now the need to change resides only with me and none other can do it for me.