The trick

Rex never left, he only re-invented himself, but his influence never changed. He tricked me- tricked me into believing that he was gone; that I was better. Better, which to me, meant perfect. 

When my gf and my friend Sami told me that I was not better, I refused to believe them, instead I believed the illusion- Rex. And so things got worse, not just for me, for you see... my gf was affected also. She felt second-best to a voice. I doubted her love for me, but didn't doubt Rex. In other words, I doubted love and reality, but never for a second doubted illusion- Rex. Imagine how my gf felt. I feel so bad. Because this has hurt her more than it has hurt me. Imagine all tears this has brought her. All because I believed an illusive lie- a voice, instead of she who loves me. 

This is another post I have to return to if I plan to recover, for otherwise, I'll forget and be caught in the same vicious cycle, drawing my gf into it also, and once again, hurting a person I love.