What's wrong with me?

He follows me where-ever I go. I can't get rid of him, because he's in my head; twisting every thought- turning me into him. I have so much to be thankful for, yet I am so ungrateful- lest, that's how I feel about it. He stalks me. I had to turn on the light in the hallway to get this laptop so that I could type this. Type this, after I cried on the kitchen floor- why? I don't know. But the emotions surged and continue to surge, one after the other, guilt, anger, fear... they keep stirring in my soul as I cry out into empty space and beat myself with a stick which ironically broke. I don't know what's wrong. I don't know why I should be sad. I have so much good things- happy things in my life, yet I am ungrateful. There it is again, guilt. Who perpetuates these thoughts- me? Rex? Am I really selfish? Or am I just confused? 

All day, I've seen them, images of the perfect, the ideal- the standard that I could never dream of becoming. I'm reminded of it all the time, I can never escape it. In the streets, the images stand stark and bold, highlighting the seemingly perfect illusion. Even in the company of friends, my ugliness is remarked upon and made the subject of fun. To be nice, I just smile and nod, hoping that one day someone won't compare me to a monster. I don't want to tell my friends' to stop, because I want them to stop. I just want someone to look beyond the surface, and see something else. Then again, I'm a hypocrite- or so it seems. 

I wish these feelings would not stir so rapidly, and that Rex were no longer part of me. I still have trouble accepting my humanity- it's as if these feelings are new, or as though I don't know how to handle them. Yet, even in posting this I feel a tinge of guilt, for there are people with worser problems than Rex. What's wrong with me? Who am I?